The Other Fathers

For Father's Day, I always put something up for Lala but this time round, let me say something for some of the Others. 

These are the men who stood by me, fathered me along with the best dad in the world but the love and varying learning I drew from all of these people over the years is what makes me who I am today. I am pretty much the product of a LOT of fun parenting. (Insert blessing here!)

Abbaa, my first, kindest father figure I've seen to this day. The little things he would do for me. The dried melon seeds, the chilghoza fests, the margarines, jams and jellies WE'D make (yes, I got to stir it a whole one time!), the managing of fruit off the trees, the first dogs in my life, his hunting trips and how I'd want to just touch the barrel of the gun and he'd let me. Urdu readings, newspaper sessions, the morning walks to that park close by, or the slightly distant one sometimes. An entire lifetime in just a few years before he became unwell. He was a father extraordinaire. Abbaa to all kind. What made me break down was finding his personal diary a few years ago. It was all about me and my firsts! Momo took her first step, momo called me abbaa for the first step. That thing he sang till the very day he passed on... Sumbul mera taaziaana laana, Shamshaad usay sooli par charhaana. Still chokes me up.

I've come to terms with the fact that you've moved on, I miss you but I know you're happy, healthy and looking down at me the way you always did with that what-the-hell-do-I-do-with-this-child look on your face. I'll see you one day. Hugs. 

Then comes Macha. Mamu and Chacha combines to form this magical creature who has been part of my childhood, young adult and adult life literally like a place I can run off to whenever I need to. He would keep me close to him through my awkward pre teens age at all the NCA get togethers. The grown ups were too grown up and the children were too little for me to hangout. All my camera/ photography/ life/ whinny issues, no matter where I am in the world, Macha would attend to it in half a heartbeat. I almost feel a right to it all. I take him for granted, so here's to you my lovely (and only!) macha (in this world). Happy Father's Day. 

Dada Jaan was an entire other chapter of my life. I won't say too much because I say plenty about him anyway. He's me and I am him. He's always with me. Never left. I don't know if he qualifies as an other father. I think not. He was just a very GRAND father. The ultimate father. Like one of those mannequins on Father's Day? Happy Daddy Day! 

Max is an integral part of my support system. He's a father, a friend, a confidante, a buddy. He's so many things for me, it's overwhelming. I call on him for anything and everything under the sun. Always a phone call away. Whether I have had joy or sorrow to share. Amongst so many other things he means to, rolled up in there is always a fatherly emotion who looks out for me, senses my emotional upheaval before I do at times, he's one of many blessings I live with and I honestly don't really know what I would've done without him in life. Well. It still would've gone on but definitely far Wobblier than it did :)

Happy Father's Day Max! Have a lovely one. 

Qais Mamu was perhaps my real father in a previous lifetime. He looked out for me since I was an awkward, aloof teenager. Whether it was a medical emergency, social/ public boredom at hand, emotional crisis, just daddy daughter loving or telling my mother to keep an eye on my well being because "she won't ever say anything". He was closer to my heart than many. I can't ever forget that last conversation I had with him. Ever. It was as if he knew and was summing it all up for me in a last sermon. I miss you every single day of my life though I feel less entitled to than most and rightly so. You weren't my father nor were you a close relative. Our connection was that of hearts, something I don't expect anyone to ever understand. May we be father and daughter for real in another lifetime. Happy Father's Day my dream dad!

Jamal chacha was my definition of a good looking man as I grew up. He was just this crazy genius of a hunk that would lurk around with his rebellious streak, I'd be inspired by the whiff of his Dunhills. Everything about him was so cool and then he'd sing for me. Sometimes. Just to tease me. I've fought with him yet I want him everywhere. We are crazy, almost manic but we click with a bang! He's been more fatherly than he's ever been in the recent past but yes. I'd like to be Jamal Hameed Bhatti when I grow up. Or maybe parts of who he is. I choose. Not him. Love you Jamal Cha. Happy Father's Day!

Gul uncle was the throw you around dad! He LOVED to kick me around. Well. Like the rest of his brothers of course. Betting on how soon I'll cry! However, in his last year of life we spent more time together than we ever did. It gave me the answer to EVERYTHING I found weird and out of place about myself. We were the same! Obnoxiously, ridiculously, emotionally it was all a First-born Bhatti dilemma that we carried with us. I have yet to feel the true genetic connection with anyone in my entire family more than what I felt with him. We were scarily alike in so many ways, it was shocking! The way we'd think, the things we went through on life... Happy Father's Day. Love you. Hope you're feeling better and romping around with Razia Aunty up there. 

ZAK is a rather new entry but certainly not close to being the least. He's been a father to me in so many ways these past four years, it's unbelievable. It includes crazy fights, music rendezvous, (sleeping through) movies, cinema escapades, cars, sugar free EVERYTHING, TONS of ice cream, AAM!, the love for books Ragni Ayesha and Nuzhat Aunty. Yes we love all of the above. Thank you for being my daddy away from home. Happy Father's Day!

These are the men who have always found me beautiful. No matter how much I weigh, whether I earn or not, however crazy a tantrum I'm having. I'm one spoiled brat and I owe it all to these wonderful men who over the years kept making me feel like a princess. 

Love you all and a very happy Father's Day to all my spiritual fathers.